Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Tuesday Movie Reviews

Ratings: 1 -5, Bad to Great. And remember to see IMDB for references when I mention other movies.

Need For Speed: 2 - Need a good script. Poor man's Fast Furious, Need for Boxoffice.
While I give the first time director Scott Waugh kudos,a previous stunt man aka Hal Needham (who rent to direct the all time car chase film "Smokey & The Bandit", The No. 2 film in 1977 behind Star Wars), he didn't have much to work with. While the script sucks at least they tried a origin plot instead of doing the videogame. But both the script and the film needed some heavy editing as 2 hours was way to long for a race movie. Old classic Le Mans and Grand Prix are good examples of this is. Best stunt was the car picked up by the Helicopter but not enough to keep me interested all the way. How wonder this landed at #3 at the Boxoffice.
Update: Little did I know the directors father was best friend with Hal Needham. Keep it in the family.

Veronica Mars: 2 - First off: I am not a Marshmallow (that's what Mars fans call themselves). I saw one episode way back when and couldn't get into it, neither could I get into anything CW had at that time for that matter. But to be fair I went back and saw the first and last episode last week to give this review a chance. Ironically in the beginning of the film they had a recap and showed exactly the highlights of the first and last episode including here walking away at the end. This DID NOT make me happy. Why the hell did I bother then? Well it was downhill from there. This is for fans only as I couldn't get into this whatsover.  Now to be fair I did get some laughs from the cameos, Justin Long told to Fk Off, James Franco. That joke about the laywers still screwing you after your dead. While some of the dialog was very witty at times I just couldn't help I was watching an overblown lost episode. While this had a voice over aka Goodfellas and American Hustle, Veronica came off as a bitchy smartass in her approach. And I did mentioned in previous posts (links) why out of all shows did this get a Kickstater campaign.  I have to admit they accomplish their goal and got this made with an official release but are we going to get other CW shows that don't need to be realized? I hope not. PS. The link below didn't help.

Talk about female power:
I'm putting this here because this is still at the movies hitting the $1 Billion Mark. Why?
Frozen: 1 - This is right up ther with Brave as the worst animation stories in the past 10 years.
If it wasn't for the Snowman, this would get a Zero. That's right I said it. When this first came out, the reviews were mixed and now everyone's at the coffee machine at work saying what a greta movie this is. Like the same ones who loved Iron Man 3. Amazing how people can get brainwashed thinking they actually watching something that's great. But then again isn't that most of the movies today.
Note 1: 2 Oscars? Let it go sucks. Happy was the better song and either Desciple Me 2 or The Croods were the better "family" movies.
Note 2: Talk about female power, Mulan and the Little Mermaid were the better movies.

Grand Piano: 3 - Finally caught up to this. How they manage to make the 90 minute was a surprise, ok long end credits. But to keep up the suspense and the plot turns really had me going. And not because I'm a piano player but glad I didn't have a teacher like the sniper. Miss one note and somebody dies. TAlk about pressure. The movie itself is on the joke on what its trying to pull off. How many times as a musician you're going to walk off stage right in the middle of the performance?! Yes, it is
"PhoneBooth" with a Piano, which starred Colin Farrell's break out roll which I loved. Of course John Cusack plays the crazy villain, which he has been doing lately and damn good at it. The last 15 minutes did remind you that the movie was over staying it's welcome. This could have gone wrong in so many ways but if you can enjoy the premise at the beginning then the film is a fun ride.

Nymphomaniac Pt: 1
This is a FYI and not a review. This is a technical look at the film from an Editors POV.
Remember that film "Caligula" with Malcolm McoDowell, Peter O'Tool and a very young Helen Mirren. SEE IMDB. An Italian production where everyone walked around half naked and talked alot of crap filled with some violent muder scenes. Producer Bob Guiccione who was a publisher of "Penthouse" competition nudie magazine of "Playboy", decided it wasn't sexy enough and decided to film scenes himself filled with graphic sex. Basically they were snippets and quick shots inserted for the hell of it. Jump cuts and shaky cam for the closeups did not help matters. Think of amateur porn on a Iphone. It was mainly done as publicity for the film. Well it help a lot at the boxoffice. But didn't add anything to the picture except for being exploitative. That gives you an idea what Nympho is. Also......
Like Blue is the Warmest Color which had a main sex scene of 6 minutes and over 2 hours of talking crap, Nympho is 2 long boring hours and less than 10 minutes of nudity.
Note 1: I'm in the middle of Nym Vol. 2, which is even more boring, and when I'm finish I'll have a full review of both Volumes before the release this Friday. Trust me, you are missing very little.

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